July 22, 2022 - Reading time: 12 minutes
Updated: October 7, 2025

Dating a Thai bar girl is something many foreigners experience in nightlife areas such as Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket. Some relationships grow into something real. Others are transactional or complicated in ways people do not expect. If you are already involved and something feels off, take a careful, informed approach. At Bangkok Investigators we help clients check loyalty and background so they can make smarter choices.

The Appeal of Thai Bar Girls

Thailand’s nightlife is famous. Many men visit for excitement and companionship. Bar staff are friendly and open to meeting foreigners. They work in beer bars, go go bars, and clubs, and their job is to chat, pour drinks, and sometimes offer more. Some men feel a real emotional connection. Others are seeking a fun experience in a different culture.

The appeal can be cultural curiosity, the buzz of a new place, or the desire for simple companionship. For some, it feels easier than dating at home. For others, it is a break from normal life.

The Challenges of Dating a Thai Bar Girl

There are serious challenges to consider. The work environment is transactional, which can blur the line between genuine affection and financial expectations. Many women support parents and sometimes children. With little or no child support after a breakup, the need for income can be strong. Building relationships with foreigners can look like a path to stability.

Some women do seek financial help more than a long term relationship. Not all, but enough that you should keep your eyes open. Falling in love too fast can lead to disappointment if the focus turns out to be money and not the relationship.

Many bar girls have multiple boyfriends or 'sponsors'. Phones are full of contacts from past customers. These men can call or message at any time.

The Influence of Cultural Expectations

Thai culture has its own norms. Family duty is strong. Many women send money home. Pressure to maintain a certain lifestyle can be real.

In romance, some people hold traditional views on roles. Foreign men used to equal partnerships can find this difficult. Misunderstandings are common when expectations are not discussed.

If you want your partner to leave the bar, financial support often starts early. Without that, it is hard for her to change jobs quickly. Even with support, loyalty is not guaranteed. We have seen cases where a man paid for years and even built a house, only for the woman to return to bar work once village life became boring.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you are in a relationship with a Thai woman who is currently married, her husband could sue you under Thai law. Social media posts and messages can be used in court to prove a relationship.

We run a professional background check to confirm marriage and divorce history, uncover dating site profiles, adult material, and nightlife photos, verify employment history and other key details. Every enquiry is private and confidential. You receive a clear report and a free, no obligation quote before any work begins.

Learn More Request a Free Quote

The Emotional Risks

There is risk for anyone who invests emotionally. Some women care deeply for their partners, but outside pressures and the job itself can make long term commitment difficult.

Many men believe their situation is unique. Later they learn they were one of several men helping with money. That realisation hurts.

It is common to think she is different and will not accept bar fines from other men. Most bar workers are trying to earn as much as they can. Love does not pay bills.

The Financial Dynamics

Money is a big part of these relationships. Paying for companionship is viewed differently in Thailand than in the West. Some women see a foreigner’s support as the main reason to stay. Expectations can create imbalance.

Sending money to family is common. Regular requests for rent, food, or emergencies may appear. Decide what you are comfortable with before the relationship deepens.

Debt is another factor. Some borrow from loan sharks or take bank loans against family land. Many will not be fully honest about this. To save face, a woman might claim a hospital bill or a relative’s crisis rather than admit personal debt. We also see many jail or bail stories that are not true.

How to Navigate the Relationship

If you decide to continue, set clear expectations early. Discuss what each of you wants. Be honest about money, work, and the future. This reduces confusion later.

Keep your expectations realistic. Some couples make it work. Many do not. Be prepared for the relationship to be short term, and be ready if priorities change.

If your girlfriend works in a bar and says she never leaves with customers, be careful. In most of our cases, that claim is not true. Many are happy to earn from a clean, well dressed foreigner if given the chance.

Private Investigation Services: Getting to the Truth

If you want to know more about your partner’s intentions or background, we can help. At Bangkok Investigators we specialise in:

• Background Checks – We investigate history, employment, and relationships, and run OSINT to see if she appears in adult content, on dating sites, or in nightlife photos.
• Decoy and Honey Trap – A trained decoy can approach your partner to assess loyalty and whether she still leaves with customers or gives out her number.
• Surveillance – We track movements and document behaviour to understand nightlife patterns, customer interactions, and lifestyle.

Learn more about bar girl investigations.

These services provide clarity and peace of mind. Please note that fees depend on the case location. Tell us where she works when asking for a free quote.

Making Informed Decisions

Dating a Thai bar girl can be exciting, but it comes with real challenges. Understanding culture, money, and risk helps you make better choices. Be respectful, be clear, and stay realistic about what this relationship can be. If doubts remain, verify with professionals before you invest more time or money.

Related articles

• Is adultery acceptable in Thailand?
• Do I need to send money to my Thai girlfriend?
• Can I trust my Thai girlfriend?

July 16, 2022 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Updated: October 8, 2025

For our foreign clients who are in relationships with Thai partners, we always suggest learning a little about Thai culture, traditions, and etiquette. A basic understanding goes a long way and helps set realistic expectations. As a detective agency based in Thailand, we are often asked whether infidelity is acceptable here.

No, adultery is not generally acceptable in Thailand, and there can be stiff penalties for those who are caught. That said, adultery does occur and attitudes can vary depending on who you ask.

Some men knowingly keep what they call a mia noi, meaning a minor wife or long term mistress. They may see this as acceptable, but that does not remove the consequences if they are exposed.

For Thai ladies who date foreigners, the motivation for cheating is often financial. The so called Thai girlfriend scam involves a woman maintaining multiple relationships with men who each believe they are the only one. Some send money, others give gifts or spend during trips to Thailand. If you are not married, cheating may be immoral but it is not classed as adultery.

Is adultery illegal in Thailand?

Thai law protects the sanctity of marriage, and adultery can carry real consequences.

According to legal experts, if you are romantically involved with someone who is married, their spouse can sue you. Romantic messages and photos can be used as evidence. With strong proof, courts can order financial compensation to the spouse who was cheated on.

The spouse can sue the third party without divorcing and sue again if the affair continues.

Spouses who are cheated on can also seek child support deducted directly from their ex partner’s salary.

If you are concerned your Thai partner might already be married, we can help verify marital status with a background check.

Is adultery common in Thailand?

Surveys from 2012 by Match.com and Durex reported that 56% of Thai respondents admitted to having an affair. That ranked Thailand among the highest in the sample, with Denmark and Italy following.

Is polygamy allowed in Thailand?

No. Polygamy is not allowed in Thailand. It was historically accepted, but was banned in 1935, shortly after the Siamese Revolution.

Is marriage important in Thailand?

Yes. Marriage carries social weight. Some Thais view a relationship as not fully serious until there has been a wedding ceremony.

Many couples host a traditional ceremony but do not always register the marriage at the district office. In Western countries registration is almost automatic. In Thailand some couples skip registration entirely.

Is marriage important to my Thai girlfriend?

It depends on her beliefs. We have heard cheating partners say the relationship was not serious because there was no marriage. In some circles a ceremony signals to the community that the woman is committed.

Dowry, known as sin sod, is often paid by the groom to the bride’s family during the ceremony. It may include cash and gold, sometimes property deeds or a vehicle. The dowry is displayed publicly, which boosts the family’s face and shows prosperity. It is generally not refundable.

How can I tell if my partner is cheating on me in Thailand?

Confirming infidelity can be hard if you are overseas or do not speak Thai. Distance and language create real blind spots. Here are practical checks that work on the ground:

• Targeted surveillance: discreet observation during likely windows such as evenings and days off. We document who she meets, where she goes, and how long she stays.
• OSINT review: social profiles, secondary accounts, dating apps, nightlife photos, and patterns that indicate hidden relationships.
• Background checks: confirm marriage or divorce history and verify work claims and routines.
• Decoy interaction: where appropriate, a controlled approach in venues that tests whether she shares contact or agrees to meet later.
• Consistency test: compare stated schedules and stories against observed behaviour over time.

Get discreet help from investigators in Thailand

We check what is really happening on the ground. Every enquiry is private and confidential, and we provide a free quote before any work begins.

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Related articles

• Why you should run a background check on a Thai girlfriend
• Signs that your Thai girlfriend is cheating on you
• Avoid Thai Girlfriend Scams: Tips from Private Investigators

Sources: Thai PBS

July 7, 2022 - Reading time: 14 minutes
Updated: May 30, 2025

Do I need to send money to my Thai girlfriend? – The answer to this question will of course vary depending upon your girlfriend's circumstances and her financial situation. If your girlfriend comes from a wealthy family, or even a 'middle class' Thai family, then you might find yourself not needing to support her by helping out with money. Indeed, if your girlfriend's family are very wealthy, then they might even decide to help you out with spare cash – however, cases such as this are not seen by us very often.

In order to understand the concept of providing for a Thai girlfriend (and her family) by giving her a cash allowance or helping out with money, we feel it's important to understand more about Thai culture and the daughter's role within the family. Having a basic understanding of Thai culture in general can only benefit the relationship that you have with your Thai girlfriend, and we would certainly recommend doing some research in order to better understand Thailand culture and customs if you are dating a Thai lady.

Where does your Thai girlfriend come from?

We think it's safe to assume that your Thai girlfriend comes from Thailand. However, Thailand is a big place and things can vary somewhat depending upon the region. Many Thai women that date foreigners come from the North East of Thailand in an area known as Isan. Isan comprises of several different provinces which are largely comprised of rural farming communities.

Often is the case that Thai people from rural areas will travel to large cities (such as Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, or Chiang Mai) in order to look for work; they will then be responsible for sending money back to their families in the village. Grandparents will often take care of their grandchildren while the child's parents work away in a city. If your girlfriend is in a situation similar to this then you must appreciate her obligation to look after her parents (and/or other family members) by sending money to them on a regular basis.

If your girlfriend's family are based in a more metropolitan area (rather than a rural village which is surrounded by rice fields), then there will be a greater likelihood of them working or being able to earn money.

Is your Thai girlfriend working class or middle class?

Understanding whether your Thai girlfriend is working class or middle class can offer important context about her expectations, lifestyle, and potential financial obligations. In Thailand, socioeconomic background varies widely by region, profession, and family structure.

If your girlfriend's family lives in a rural farming village—perhaps growing rice or working in agriculture—this would typically be considered a working-class background. These families often have limited means, and financial support from children working in cities is very common. In many of these cases, daughters are expected to contribute financially and may rely on their partner’s help.

On the other hand, if her parents live in a major city and both hold stable, salaried jobs—such as teachers, civil servants, business owners, or professionals—they are more likely to be middle class. A middle-class Thai family may have financial obligations like car payments or home loans, but also greater access to credit and income. They may not expect direct financial support from their daughter’s partner—though again, this can depend heavily on the individual family dynamic.

During the Covid-19 pandemic, many working-class Thais faced increased financial hardship, especially those in informal or tourism-based jobs. As a result, some women who previously didn’t rely on partner support may now be under pressure to help their families financially. It’s important to evaluate whether these requests are genuine or manipulative. If you're unsure, we can help verify the situation.

Are Thai girlfriends expensive?

The answer to this question can vary hugely depending on the circumstances. Again, if your Thai girlfriend is from a wealthy family or has a stable career, then she may not need any support from you. In order to answer this question you should really take a close look at your girlfriend, her lifestyle, and any financial obligations that she has.

Be cautious if your Thai partner claims to have no debt or financial burdens at all. While it's certainly possible, statistically speaking, it's uncommon. As of late 2024, Thailand's household debt stood at 88.4% of GDP – one of the highest in the region – totalling over 16.4 trillion baht (approximately 484 billion USD). This includes mortgages, credit cards, vehicle loans and personal lending, and affects a huge portion of the Thai middle class.

Even if your girlfriend personally has no debt, there's a very strong chance her family does. Debts related to farming, home loans, motorbikes, education, or business are widespread – particularly in rural areas like Isan. If she claims her entire family is debt-free and financially independent, it may be a sign she’s not being fully transparent. We've seen many cases where men were blindsided by unexpected requests for large sums – often after months of quiet buildup.

If you're unsure about her situation, we can investigate to confirm whether there are genuine financial pressures or if you're being manipulated. For more on this topic, see our article on checking credit scores or debt in Thailand.

If your girlfriend is responsible for supporting her parents or family members that live in rural areas, for example; then the costs associated with living in a rural area are usually quite low, and supporting her family might be relatively cheap in monetary terms.

If your girlfriend is accustomed to an affluent lifestyle on the other hand, and rents a high-end condo or house in the city, enjoys eating at nice restaurants, shopping for brand name clothing, perhaps she also has car payments to make, for example; then a main financial burden for you could be subsidising her lifestyle.

How much does she earn? What are her approximate outgoings? These are the type of questions that you need to answer in order to understand whether your girlfriend is likely to be expensive. Due to the Thai concept of 'saving face', it is unlikely that any Thai person will be candid about their financial situation. Don't expect to be able to answer questions such as these by speaking to a lady over the internet, we suggest meeting her and witnessing her lifestyle first hand in order to gauge it for yourself. Or, we could check her lifestyle by conducting an investigation.

Your Thai girlfriend's role within her family

Pensions for the elderly are often very meagre (or non-existent) in Thailand, and so it is not uncommon for children to support their parents into their old age. In traditional Thai culture this obligation often falls upon the daughter of the family; while sons are left to provide for their own partner/children (and their partner's parents, if necessary), the daughter will need to send money in order to take care of her elderly parents.

Of course, this is not always the case, and sometimes sons will be tasked with supporting their parents instead; however, traditionally the obligation is passed onto the daughter of the family.

If your Thai girlfriend is responsible for supporting her parents or other family members then this burden will ultimately be shared with yourself if you decide to date her or get married.

Is there a large age gap between you and your Thai girlfriend?

If there is a large age gap between you and your Thai girlfriend, then the likelihood that she will expect a cash allowance or lavish gifts is probably going to be increased. Indeed, many ladies prefer mature men as they are thought to be more financially well off and more capable of supporting the lady monetarily.

How much money do I need to give my Thai girlfriend?

Again, the answer to this question is hugely subjective depending on the lady's circumstances. There are cases where ladies do not need any money from their foreign boyfriends or partners. In other cases we have heard of men that send 20,000 THB per month, or 25,000, or 30,000, even 50,000 THB or more. It all depends on yourself, your partner's needs, and how deep your pockets are.

We also see many cases where a lady will claim "not to need any money" from her foreign boyfriend for many months or even years until a large expense needs to be paid for. Many ladies appreciate that foreign men are not keen on sending money to them, and will deliberately not ask for money or talk about money at all for a prolonged period - even if the lady is in dire need of cash in some cases.

Again, the Thai concept of 'saving face' is relevant... Asking for cash may not be perceived as a good trait and some ladies will avoid asking for money in order to build up a serious romantic relationship where money will inevitably become involved at some stage.

Are you her boyfriend or are you her customer?

According to statistics published by Wikipedia, at its peak there are 27,000 active prostitutes working in Pattaya city alone. If you find yourself involved with one of these ladies, then you might find a fine line between dating her and simply being her customer.

This is often a line which can get blurred if you are paying for a lady to spend time with you; the so-called 'girlfriend experience' is designed to blur this line and make you feel although you are in a romantic relationship with the lady. You may indeed be in a romantic relationship with the lady, but in a role as her customer rather than as her boyfriend.

Many of the ladies that work in Thailand's notorious adult entertainment industry use internet dating apps to search for serious romantic relationships. Often these ladies will claim to have legitimate jobs in order for the guys they are speaking with to consider having a serious relationship with them. They can pose wearing uniforms for supermarkets or restaurants, for example, and most men will never question their stories - especially if they have never previously visited Thailand. You may think that 'it could never happen to you', however we have seen numerous cases where our clients had the same belief, and would never have discovered the truth had they not decided to start an investigation.

Is your Thai girlfriend being honest with you?

Finding out about the true financial situation of someone can be difficult. Sometimes couples that are together for years or even decades will conceal financial matters from each other. Due to the Thai concept of saving face, your Thai girlfriend might be more likely to tell you things which she believes will make her seem more desirable to you - and this can make it very difficult to uncover the truth in many cases.

Thai girlfriend works at a bar

We deal with many cases where our clients date Thai ladies that work in bars; whether that is a beer bar, go-go bar, nightclub, gentleman's club, or in any similar type establishment.

Usually when the lady is working at a bar, her boyfriend will provide her with a monthly allowance. In return the lady 'will not leave the bar with other customers', and will 'only earn money through tips or lady drinks'. The lady will usually call her boyfriend at the same time every night in order to prove that she has not left the bar with a customer...

We usually find that the reality of the situation is much different. In the majority of cases the lady will continue to leave her bar and travel with customers to their hotel rooms. She will indeed call her boyfriend at the same time every night, however she might be calling from the toilet or balcony of her client's hotel room; in other cases bar girls will call their boyfriends in front of customers who tend to find the situation amusing.

If you found a Thai lady through internet dating and have never actually met her in real life, then if the lady is working in a bar she will typically claim to have a normal job working in a supermarket or restaurant, for example. Finding the truth of the situation even if you decide to later visit Thailand can often prove to be difficult or impossible.

In such cases we can help our clients to check their Thai girlfriends by conducting an investigation.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you decide to support your Thai girlfriend by sending her gifts or a monthly allowance, then we think it makes sense to check her circumstances in order to protect your investment and make sure that you aren't being played.

We can use a variety of different techniques during Thai lady investigations, from running a background check or using surveillance in order to verify the lady's circumstances and lifestyle. Our services often save our clients far more than they would have otherwise spent in supporting their Thai girlfriend for even a short period of time.

Please visit the Bangkok Investigators homepage to learn more about us and the different services that we offer.

July 6, 2022 - Reading time: 5 minutes
Updated: June 3, 2025

Many of our clients seek a prematrimonial background check on their Thai girlfriend to verify her identity, check her circumstances, and ultimately protect any financial or emotional investments they may make in her.

There are several reasons why performing a background check on a Thai partner is important. Below, we explore the most common motivations for getting a background check.

1. Check Her Honesty

In Thai culture, the concept of "saving face" is significant, which can sometimes lead Thai girlfriends to withhold information that they fear may make them less desirable to a foreign partner. For example, if you met her in Thailand or through online dating, she might not immediately tell you about children from a previous relationship or her family situation.

Even though children are often cared for by grandparents in rural villages while parents work in the city, the lady may not mention this if you do not meet her family. A background check can help verify the lady's circumstances.

Learn more about our background check service.

Additionally, if the lady has been divorced or is still married, she may not mention this to avoid awkwardness or prevent jeopardising the relationship. A background check can help uncover such facts.

For example, if she works in the adult entertainment industry, she may not disclose her occupation, presenting herself as a student or someone with a regular job. These situations may seem unlikely, but we’ve found that they do occur, and a background check could uncover the truth.

2. Marital Status and Marriage/Divorce History

Did you know that if you're involved with a married woman in Thailand, you could be legally liable? Thai law allows for a husband to sue if he finds evidence of another man in his wife’s life. For this reason, it is crucial to verify her marital status and marriage/divorce history, even if you’re not running a full background check.

3. Applying for a Long-Term Visa

If you're thinking about applying for a long-term visa for your Thai girlfriend, various factors could complicate the process. A criminal background, for example, may prevent her from obtaining a visa to visit your country. If she's been divorced recently or is still married, it might also create issues for your visa application.

Additionally, if she has a history of unstable employment or cannot demonstrate long-term career prospects, it might affect her chances of obtaining a visa. Our background checks can also help verify her employment and educational background.

4. Avoid Falling Victim to Romance Scams

Romance scams are on the rise, with the United States Federal Trade Commission reporting an 80% increase in scams in 2021. Fraudsters prey on people by building an emotional connection and then deceiving them to gain money.

These scams often involve elaborate lies, making even the most unlikely stories seem believable. Fraudsters are highly skilled at manipulating emotions, and victims often become too attached to question the situation. Performing a background check is one way to verify claims and eliminate the risk of falling into a scam.

5. Make an Informed Investment

In many cases, foreign partners may provide financial support to their Thai girlfriend, whether it's through regular assistance or during special occasions. For example, in Thai weddings, a dowry, or sin sod, may be expected, which can involve a significant financial contribution (ranging from 500,000 THB to several million THB). This can include money, gold, or even property.

Even if a formal wedding and dowry are not part of the plan, cross-border relationships often incur travel, visa, and relocation costs. Just as in business, it’s wise to do your due diligence in romantic relationships to protect your investment.

Learn More

To learn more about how we can assist you, please visit the Bangkok Investigators homepage or explore our background screening services. We offer free, no-pressure quotes for all services. Contact us today for more information or to request a quotation.