Do I need to send money to my Thai girlfriend?

July 7, 2022 - Reading time: 12 minutes

"Do I need to send money to my Thai girlfriend?" - The answer to this question will of course vary depending upon your girlfriend's circumstances and her financial situation. If your girlfriend comes from a wealthy family, or even a 'middle class' Thai family, then you might find yourself not needing to support her by helping out with money. Indeed if your girlfriend's family are very wealthy, then they might even decide to help you out with spare cash - however cases such as this are not seen by us very often.

In order to understand the concept of providing for a Thai girlfriend (and her family) by giving her a cash allowance or helping out with money, we feel it's important to understand more about Thai culture and the daughter's role within the family. Having a basic understanding of Thai culture in general can only benefit the relationship that you have with your Thai girlfriend, and we would certainly recommend doing some research in order to better understand Thailand culture and customs if you are dating a Thai lady.

Where does your Thai girlfriend come from?

We think it's safe to assume that your Thai girlfriend comes from Thailand. However, Thailand is a big place and things can vary somewhat depending upon the region. Many Thai women that date foreigners come from the North East of Thailand in an area known as Isan. Isan comprises of several different provinces which are largely comprised of rural farming communities.

Often is the case that Thai people from rural areas will travel to large cities (such as Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, or Chiang Mai) in order to look for work; they will then be responsible for sending money back to their families in the village. Grandparents will often take care of their grandchildren while the child's parents work away in a city. If your girlfriend is in a situation similar to this then you must appreciate her obligation to look after her parents (and/or other family members) by sending money to them on a regular basis.

If your girlfriend's family are based in a more metropolitan area (rather than a rural village which is surrounded by rice fields), then there will be a greater likelihood of them working or being able to earn money.

Are Thai girlfriends expensive?

The answer to this question can vary hugely depending on the circumstances. Again, if your Thai girlfriend is from a wealthy family or has a stable career, then she may not need any support from you. In order to answer this question you should really take a close look at your girlfriend, her lifestyle, and any financial obligations that she has.

If your girlfriend is responsible for supporting her parents or family members that live in rural areas, for example; then the costs associated with living in a rural area are usually quite low, and supporting her family might be relatively cheap in monetary terms.

If your girlfriend is accustomed to an affluent lifestyle on the other hand, and rents a high end condo or house in the city, enjoys eating at nice restaurants, shopping for brand name clothing, perhaps she also has car payments to make, for example; then a main financial burden for you could be subsidising her lifestyle.

How much does she earn? What are her approximate outgoings? These are the type of questions that you need to answer in order to understand whether your girlfriend is likely to be expensive. Due to the Thai concept of 'saving face', it is unlikely that any Thai person will be candid about their financial situation. Don't expect to be able to answer questions such as these by speaking to a lady over the internet, we suggest meeting her and witnessing her lifestyle first hand in order to gauge it for yourself. Or, we could check her lifestyle by conducting an investigation.

Your Thai girlfriend's role within her family

Pensions for the elderly are often very meager (or non-existent) in Thailand, and so it is not uncommon for children to support their parents into their old age. In traditional Thai culture this obligation often falls upon the daughter of the family; while sons are left to provide for their own partner/children (and their partner's parents, if necessary), the daughter will need to send money in order to take care of her elderly parents. 

Of course, this is not always the case, and sometimes sons will be tasked with supporting their parents instead; however, traditionally the obligation is passed onto the daughter of the family.

If your Thai girlfriend is responsible for supporting her parents or other family members then this burden will ultimately be shared with yourself if you decide to date her or get married.

Is there a large age gap between you and your Thai girlfriend?

If there is a large age gap between you and your Thai girlfriend, then the likelihood that she will expect a cash allowance or lavish gifts is probably going to be increased. Indeed, many ladies prefer mature men as they are thought to be more financially well off and more capable of supporting the lady monetarily.

How much money do I need to give my Thai girlfriend?

Again, the answer to this question is hugely subjective depending on the lady's circumstances. There are cases where ladies do not need any money from their foreign boyfriends or partners. In other cases we have heard of men that send 20,000 THB per month, or 25,000, or 30,000, even 50,000 THB or more. It all depends on yourself, your partner's needs, and how deep your pockets are.

We also see many cases where a lady will claim "not to need any money" from her foreign boyfriend for many months or even years until a large expense needs to be paid for. Many ladies appreciate that foreign men are not keen on sending money to them, and will deliberately not ask for money or talk about money at all for a prolonged period - even if the lady is in dire need of cash in some cases.

Again, the Thai concept of 'saving face' is relevant... Asking for cash may not be perceived as a good trait and some ladies will avoid asking for money in order to build up a serious romantic relationship where money will inevitably become involved at some stage.

Are you her boyfriend or are you her customer?

According to statistics published by Wikipedia, at its peak there are 27,000 active prostitutes working in Pattaya city alone. If you find yourself involved with one of these ladies, then you might find a fine line between dating her and simply being her customer.

This is often a line which can get blurred if you are paying for a lady to spend time with you; the so-called 'girlfriend experience' is designed to blur this line and make you feel although you are in a romantic relationship with the lady. You may indeed be in a romantic relationship with the lady, but in a role as her customer rather than as her boyfriend.

Many of the ladies that work in Thailand's notorious adult entertainment industry use internet dating apps to search for serious romantic relationships. Often these ladies will claim to have legitimate jobs in order for the guys they are speaking with to consider having a serious relationship with them. They can pose wearing uniforms for supermarkets or restaurants, for example, and most men will never question their stories - especially if they have never previously visited Thailand. You may think that 'it could never happen to you', however we have seen numerous cases where our clients had the same belief, and would never have discovered the truth had they not decided to start an investigation.

Is your Thai girlfriend being honest with you?

Finding out about the true financial situation of someone can be difficult. Sometimes couples that are together for years or even decades will conceal financial matters from each other. Due to the Thai concept of saving face, your Thai girlfriend might be more likely to tell you things which she believes will make her seem more desirable to you - and this can make it very difficult to uncover the truth in many cases.

Thai girlfriend works at a bar

We deal with many cases where our clients date Thai ladies that works in bars; whether that is a beer bar, go-go bar, nightclub, gentleman's club, or in any similar type establishment.

Usually when the lady is working at a bar, her boyfriend will provide her with a monthly allowance. In return the lady 'will not leave the bar with other customers', and will 'only earn money through tips or lady drinks'. The lady will usually call her boyfriend at the same time every night in order to prove that she has not left the bar with a customer...

We usually find that the reality of the situation is much different. In the majority of cases the lady will continue to leave her bar and travel with customers to their hotel rooms. She will indeed call her boyfriend at the same time every night, however she might be calling from the toilet or balcony of her client's hotel room; in other cases bar girls will call their boyfriends in front of customers who tend to find the situation amusing.

If you found a Thai lady through internet dating and have never actually met her in real life, then if the lady is working in a bar she will typically claim to have a normal job working in a supermarket or restaurant, for example. Finding the truth of the situation even if you decide to later visit Thailand can often prove to be difficult or impossible.

In such cases we can help our clients to check their Thai girlfriends by conducting an investigation.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you decide to support your Thai girlfriend by sending her gifts or a monthly allowance, then we think it makes sense to check her circumstances in order to protect your investment and make sure that you aren't being played.

We can use a variety of different techniques during Thai lady investigations, from running a background check or using surveillance in order to verify the lady's circumstances and lifestyle. Our services often save our clients far more than they would have otherwise spent in supporting their Thai girlfriend for even a short period of time.

Please visit the Bangkok Investigators homepage to learn more about us and the different services that we offer.