5 Common Problems with Thai Girlfriends
September 15, 2023 - Reading time: 8 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
Most relationships in life have ups and downs, especially those between members of the opposite sex. If you are a foreign man that is dating a Thai lady however, then you might find there to be certain differences between you and certain problems or disagreements which reoccur during your relationship.
We are often asked by our clients to conduct investigations on their Thai girlfriends. As such, we have an array of experience in dealing with the most common 'Thai girlfriend problems'. Let's explore deeper in this article.
1. She cheats on you
It should come as no surprise that as private investigators based in Thailand, we often see cases of infidelity during our work. If your partner is currently working in an 'adult entertainment area' such as a beer bar, go-go bar, massage parlour, or similar, then the chances that she will cheat on you are relatively high... If she lives in a resort town such as Pattaya or Patong, then there is also a greater potential for her to linkup with other foreign guys.
The prevalence of dating apps and websites provide another great opportunity for attractive ladies to speak with eager guys all around the world. If a lady is good looking or has a good figure, then she has the potential to grab a lot of attention from many guys online.
One of the most common scams that is often talked about concerning Thai ladies, is the 'girlfriend scam', whereby a lady will have multiple different boyfriends that all believe they are the only man in her life. Some of these guys may send money to her on a regular basis, others will send nothing and instead spend their money on her during trips to Thailand.
The goal for ladies with multiple different boyfriends is simple: money. Having multiple men that are head over heels in love with you has the potential to bring in vast sums of money - far more than some women would otherwise stand to make working in low paid or menial jobs.
2. She is dishonest about herself
Through our background check service, we often check all of the facts surrounding a lady and her current circumstances. Over the years we have observed countless cases where our client discovered that their partner was being dishonest with them in some way... Ladies lying about how old they are is relatively common, for example - some claim to be just a few years younger while others might claim to be 10+ years younger than they truly are.
Other ladies choose to lie about how many children they have, in order to make them seem more appealing to potential partners. In one case our client even visited his girlfriend's village and met a child there whom his girlfriend claimed to be a neighbour's kid. The reality was that the child was hers, and she thought that claiming to have just one kid would make her seem more appealing.
We have even seen cases where ladyboys claimed to be born female in order to start romantic relationships.
If a lady is involved in the sex industry, then she will probably never admit this either... She might claim to be a university student that regularly studies through the night, or that she works a normal job in a shop or café.
You might think that it 'could never happen to you', but the truth is that when ladies decide to lie about certain details, they will usually make the lie appear very convincing.
3. She needs money
One of the reasons that many ladies from south east Asia decide to pursue relationships with foreigners is a perception that foreign men are more well off and will be able to help support them financially.
However, many women also understand that asking for money could be seen as a red flag by their partners, and will avoid the subject until they feel comfortable, or until they feel that their partner is fully committed to the relationship. Asian women are not stupid and will be able to gauge from your attitude whether or not you are likely to be willing to start helping her out with money.
If your girlfriend works at a bar in Thailand, then she will likely need ongoing financial support in order to help move her away from that type of lifestyle... And whether or not you are currently providing financial support to a lady that is working in a bar; in our experience of checking bar girls over the years - the ladies almost always continue to leave the bar with customers despite having boyfriends or sponsors.
If your girlfriend does not work in the nightlife scene, then discovering the truth about her financial situation could prove more difficult. Matters are not helped by the Thai concept of 'saving face' - put simply; if your girlfriend (or her family) are in a huge amount of debt or have some other big financial problems, then she might not decide to be fully honest with you about that in case it upsets you or puts you off her.
We can help to check all factors relating to Thai girlfriends as part of our romantic background check service.
4. She chooses her family over you
Family bonds are usually strong in Thailand, and your girlfriend is likely to be very loyal to her parents and other close relatives such as her grandparents or siblings. If your girlfriend's family need something, whether the request is financial or otherwise, your partner is likely to spring into action and do whatever it takes to assist them.
If you decide to marry a Thai lady, then you will likely also be 'marrying her family' to some extent. If you intend to have a long and happy relationship with your partner, then it would be a good idea to try and build an amicable relationship with her family. After all, if you decide to get married then her parents may request a sin sod payment from you, and being on good terms with them could result in a lower amount being requested.
If you are intending for your relationship to be a long term one, then it would be advisable to meet with your girlfriend's relatives as early on into the relationship as possible... Many Thai ladies hail from rural farming communities; if your partner does too then meeting your relatives could also present the opportunity for you to see their standard and way of living.
5. Cultural differences
If you are from a Western country yourself, then you might find there to be certain cultural differences when dating a Thai lady - or any female from south east Asia.
'Saving face' for example, is a concept which can be difficult for some foreigners to get their head around, and it can manifest itself in many different ways during day to day life. Your girlfriend might become very upset with you if she perceives that you have caused her to lose face in front of others... Making jokes about her in front of friends, or raising your voice in public, or even trying to teach your girlfriend things in public all have the potential to cause a 'loss of face'.
There are potentially many cultural differences that you might encounter during your relationship with a Thai lady - whether those are different attitudes concerning family relations, 'losing face', or other issues arising from a different cultural perspective.
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Why is my Thai girlfriend ignoring me?
September 9, 2023 - Reading time: 7 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
1. Your girlfriend could be cheating on you
As leading private investigators in Thailand, we often investigate infidelity on behalf of our clients... For guys that do not live in Thailand, but are currently in a relationship with a Thai lady that does, one recurring sign of infidelity is being ignored or receiving the silent treatment.
If your Thai girlfriend regularly stops making contact with you for prolonged periods of time, this could act as a sign that she is around someone else that she doesn't want you to know about. Similarly, if she usually makes voice or video calls to you, but suddenly prefers to send messages, this could also indicate the presence of another man in her life.
Of course, if your girlfriend is cheating on you then she will probably take the time to figure out excuses to explain her being unavailable. Figuring out what is truly going on can be very difficult, especially if you are thousands of kilometres away in a different country.
Other signs of infidelity include: Does she hide her phone screen when you are around, so that you can't see her messages? Is she secretive with her phone? Does she have multiple Facebook accounts? Is she reluctant to change her relationship status from 'single' to 'in a relationship with [your name]'?
If you suspect that your girlfriend could be cheating on you, then our experienced private detectives can help to check her lifestyle and activities by placing her under surveillance.
2. She is bored
If your girlfriend is ignoring you or begins to seem despondent, then perhaps she could be bored of your relationship or what you are able to offer her in the long term. If the lady has deemed that your relationship is not serious or that it does not have a long term future, then she might start to look for alternative partners.
Some Thai ladies do not consider that a relationship is serious until the knot has been tied through marriage; if a lady takes this stance then she may continue to 'see what is on offer' by communicating with multiple different guys until she has an offer to settle down and get married.
Bear in mind that attractive Thai ladies can receive a lot of interest from Western guys if they decide to signup for dating websites or apps... If the lady is good looking and has a nice figure, then she can expect to receive a lot of messages from interested guys.
3. There are hidden elements to her life
It's easy to believe that it 'could never happen to you', but as a leading detective agency based in Thailand, we regularly deal with cases where our clients struggle to believe the truth and reality surrounding their relationships and partners... Often is the case that our client would never discover the truth about their partner had they not hired us to conduct an investigation.
If your girlfriend does not respond to you for prolonged periods of time, then this could indicate that there is another aspect to her life that you are not currently aware of... Perhaps she is being dishonest about her place of work or family arrangements - or there could be other people in her life that you are simply unaware of.
4. She is looking something else
If your girlfriend does not have the time to respond to you, then perhaps she could be looking for something else in your relationship. It is no secret that many ladies from south east Asia will seek out Western guys to form romantic relationships, as their perception is that white guys have plenty of money and are able to support them financially... Does your girlfriend (or her family) have an urgent need for money?
Due to the Thai concept of saving face, it is common for ladies to sometimes 'sugarcoat' the truth. If, for example, your girlfriend's family is currently in a substantial amount of debt with interest payments due every few months, then she might not choose to be upfront and honest with you about that. Instead, she might claim to have a big unexpected expense every few months that she needs help with, such as a medical bill.
If your girlfriend comes from a family of rice farmers, then she might also be responsible for expenses associated with her family's farm, such as buying fertiliser/pesticides and the costs associated with planting/harvesting rice fields.
In order to understand your partner's motivations, it's important to fully understand her circumstances - and this might not be an easy task if she is not being candid with you about her situation. In many cases we can help to check and verify a lady's story by running a comprehensive background check on her.
5. She is punishing you
Have you upset your girlfriend by doing something wrong? Perhaps you were out of contact with her first or she saw you speaking to or contacting another woman? Your girlfriend could be giving you the silent treatment as punishment for your perceived misbehaviour or to teach you a lesson.
Of course, if your girlfriend does have a problem, then you should ask her to talk through the issue rather than ignoring you and leaving you to guess what the issue could be. After all, being able to communicate with your partner is usually key to having a long and happy relationship.
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Dos and Don'ts when dating a Thai lady
September 2, 2023 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
For Western guys that start romantic relationships with Thai ladies, there are certain cultural differences which you might notice. Being aware of differences and performing some basic research on Thai culture can really help when it comes to maintaining a happy relationship with your partner. Let's explore some of the most common 'dos and don'ts' when it comes to dating a lady from Thailand...
1. Do: Respect her culture and traditions
If you are dating a lady from Thailand, and you come from a Western country yourself, then you might find that your partner holds certain beliefs - whether religious/spiritual or traditional, which you might not be familiar with... Personal beliefs and traditions can largely depend on which region of Thailand the lady comes from, as well as her family and upbringing.
Many people in Thailand believe in ghosts, for example, with storylines involving ghosts featuring in many popular Thai TV shows and movies. There is even a Wikipedia page which lists many of the different Thai ghosts; each ghost has its own name and description.
While you could spend a considerable amount of time researching Thai folklore, some things are best experienced first hand and with an open mind.
2: Do: Maintain a good relationship with her family
Family relations are very important to Thai ladies. Many elderly Thai people have little (or no) pensions and rely on the support from their children to get by... If your Thai girlfriend's family are not affluent, then it could be the case that she is responsible for helping to support them.
If you later decide to get married, then you might find your girlfriend's parents request a dowry or sin sod to be paid on the wedding day. Maintaining a good relationship with your girlfriend's parents and other close family members should be a priority if you intend to have a serious and long term relationship with her.
3: Do: Consider and plan for marriage
Marriage is very important to many Thai ladies, with some not considering a relationship to be serious until the knot has been tied. Marriage could also be seen as important to the lady's parents or close relatives - some people even believe that getting married will signal to the spirits and ghosts of their ancestors that a romantic relationship is bonified.
Marriage can also increase the lady's 'face' within her community, especially if a large dowry (or 'sin sod') is displayed to guests before being handed over to her parents during a lavish wedding ceremony.
If you are in a serious relationship then you should ask your partner whether marriage is something which is high up on their list of priorities, and if you are marrying a Thai lady then you might need to consider whether her family will require a dowry payment from you on your wedding day. If your partner's family are struggling financially then it is more likely that they might ask for a dowry and continued financial support in the future.
Did you know? We can help to perform a background check on your Thai partner whether or not you are currently considering marriage. Background checks can help to check and confirm details relating to your partner and their history. Our service is 100% private and confidential.
4. Do: Be polite and gentlemanly
Politeness is important in Thailand and good manners cost nothing. Most Thais will not be impressed by rude behaviour.
5. Do: Plan for the long term
Earning a living in Thailand can be difficult, especially if your partner does not have an education or a skill which is currently in demand; and securing a Western visa for your partner to come and live with you has grown increasingly difficult in recent years. Suffice it to say that if you are serious about maintaining a relationship with your partner, then you should consider each other's existing commitments and how you intend to live together long term. Planning for the future with your partner is also likely to be seen as a positive trait by them.
'Don'ts' when dating a Thai lady
Let's now explore some of the things to avoid. DON'T do the following when dating a Thai lady:
1. Don't: Cause your partner to lose face
The concept of 'losing face' is somewhat of a big deal in Thai culture. Effectively, Thai people do not like being made to look foolish or unfavourable in front of other people - as this will cause them to 'lose face'.
What does this mean in practice? Well, not to embarrass your Thai girlfriend in front of other people. In Western countries, for example, we can often get away with poking fun at our partners or making sarcastic comments about them in front of our friends or family, however in Thailand such comments have the potential to cause a lot of offence - so choose your words wisely.
2. Don't: Neglect your personal hygiene
Thailand is a hot country and most Thai people will shower or bathe multiple times per day in order to keep cool and maintain their personal hygiene. Cleanliness is very important to most Thai people and you are not likely to make friends with the smell of body odour.
Similarly, most Thai people tend to be quite clean and proud of their homes. It is not uncommon for the floor of a Thai household to be swept and cleaned every single day, and you might also be expected to help with housework.
3. Don't: Constantly pester her for sex
Most Thai women are modest, and widely cited studies claim that 60% of Thai ladies are virgins when they get married. Thai women are not likely to appreciate being constantly pestered for sex... If you are in a relationship with a Thai bar girl on the other hand, then that is of course another topic altogether.
4. Don't: Disrespect her culture or religious beliefs
If you choose to date a person from another country or culture, then you are likely to encounter some differences along the way. If you approach situations with an open mind, and accept your partner's beliefs along with their way of doing things, then there are not likely to be any rifts created between you.
If, on the other hand, you are the type of person that likes to constantly complain about Thailand, or mock your partner's religious or cultural traditions, then you might leave your partner questioning whether you are a good fit for them.
5. Don't: Make her choose between you and her family
As we touched on previously, most Thai people have very strong relationships with their family - especially close relatives such as parents and grandparents. If your partner does fit into that category, then you should realise that she will always maintain close ties with her family. Don't try to make her choose between her family and yourself, as you may find yourself coming out as the loser.
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How to get married in Thailand as a foreigner
August 25, 2023 - Reading time: 12 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
The process of getting married in Thailand as a foreigner is relatively straightforward, provided you have conducted some research in order to understand the necessary steps. While some may choose to hire an agency to help with the process of running around and collecting the necessary documents, getting married in Thailand can be done yourself, 'DIY' style and without the need for paid help.
So, how is it possible to get married in Thailand as a foreigner? We will explore the necessary steps in this article.
1. Obtain an 'Affirmation of Freedom to Marry' document
In order to get married in Thailand, foreigners require an 'Affirmation of Freedom to Marry' document also known as 'an affirmation of martial status'; which is a document stating that you are currently unmarried in your home country, and are therefore free to get married in Thailand. This document can usually be obtained from a local registry office in your home country, or through your country's embassy in Thailand.
The process of obtaining a 'Affirmation of Freedom to Marry' document will vary depending on which country you come from, and the requirements of your embassy (if you intend to obtain the certificate locally in Thailand). Check your embassy's website for information on their requirements and the process.
The 'Affirmation of Freedom to Marry' is not usually free, with most embassies charging around 3,500 THB for the service. The British embassy, for example, currently charges 2,860 THB.
Note: You will also require a certified copy of your passport from your embassy, which will also need to be translated into Thai.
2. Have your documents translated
Once a 'Affirmation of Freedom to Marry' document has been obtained from your embassy, it will need to be translated into Thai by a reputable translation company, along with the certified copy of your passport.
If you obtained your freedom to marry certificate in Bangkok, then most embassies tend to be in the Wireless Road area; and you can find translation shops within walking distance. There are translation shops inside Mahatun Plaza which is near by, for example.
OR you could choose to have your documents translated at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs instead, however this option might be more costly.
3. Authenticate your translations
Once your freedom to marry document and your certified passport copy have been translated, they will then need to be authenticated by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Department of Consular Affairs
The Legalisation Division
123 Chaeng Wattana Road, Laksi District, Bangkok 10210
Phone: 02 575 1056 59, 02 981 7171
Once you're at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, take the escalator up to the third floor, turn right and walk up the stairs. Then go to the desk straight in-front of you and hand in your affirmation to marry document, its translation, along with your passport copy and passport translation.
Be aware that the staff take a lunch break at 12PM and return at 13:00. You will need to collect a ticket with a queue number and wait for your number to be called. If you arrive shortly before lunch then you might need to return after lunch at 13:00.
4. Register your marriage
Once you have your authenticated 'affirmation of freedom to marry' document along with a translated copy of your passport, you will then be ready to collect the other necessary documents and register your marriage at a district office.
In order to register a marriage, the following documents will typically be required:
- Your passport/visa with two copies of each
- Your fiancee's ID card (for Thai citizens) with two copies
- The Letter of Affirmation of Freedom to Marry (the original plus the translation with copies of both)
- The translation of your passport stamped by the MFA
- Your fiancee's Tabien Baan (house book) (for Thai citizens) along with two copies
- Two witnesses will be required. Rules can vary depending on which district office you use - so call your local district office and ask about their requirements. It could be helpful to bring a couple of Thai friends with you, or family members in some cases. If you decided to hire an agent then your agent might act as your witness instead.
5. Translating a copy of your marriage certificate
Once your marriage is complete, you will typically be issued with two marriage certificates. The certificates themselves are written in Thai script and feature a border of roses.
If you are a foreigner, then you might find it useful to obtain a certified translation of your marriage certificate in your country's native language. The translated certificate might come in handy should your partner decide to apply for a Western visa in the future, or, if you have a child with your partner then a translated marriage certificate may help in order to apply for your child's first passport.
Of course, if you just intend to use the marriage certificate for official purposes within Thailand (such as applying for a Thai marriage visa), then just the Thai language certificate itself should suffice.
Where can I get married in Thailand?
You will need to register your marriage at the nearest available district office. In Bangkok, you can choose between the district offices in Lak Si, Bangrak or Huay Kwang. These offices may require appointments to be made in advance, it is therefore advisable to call them beforehand in order to check this and their requirements/waiting times. Different district offices may also have different requirements regarding witnesses; getting in touch with your office of choice directly is your best bet when it comes to finding the most up-to-date info.
List of district offices in Bangkok
Lak Si District Office
999 Chang Watthana 10 Alley, Thung Song Hong, Lak Si, Bangkok 10210
Phone: 02 982 2081
Bang Rak District Office
5 Naret Rd, Si Phraya, Bang Rak, Bangkok 10500
Phone: 02 236 1395
Huai Khwang District Office
2 Pracha Uthit Rd, Huai Khwang, Bangkok 10310
Phone: 02 277 9100
If your partner is from a rural area or a small town, then you might find there to be shorter waiting times at the district office in their hometown, rather than in a city such as Bangkok... It would be a good idea to call your local district office and check with them regarding the waiting times and their requirements before deciding how to proceed.
Is it possible to get married in Thailand in one day?
Yes, it certainly could be possible to complete this process and get married in one day; however, whether or not this will be possible will depend on how busy the relevant offices are and how soon they are able to process you.
Are background checks necessary before getting married in Thailand?
A news article published in 2018 (source) claims that foreigners seeking to marry Thais may now be subject to criminal background screening. However, whether or not you will be subject to a background check may vary depending on your local district office - we suggest contacting your local district office for up to date information on their requirements.
While it is not compulsory, private investigators in Thailand can help to perform a premarital background check on your partner. We can check a number of different factors relating to your partner, which can help allow you to make an informed decision before taking the step of getting married. Premarital background checks have the potential to help mitigate the risk of financial loss through romance scams; they can also allow you to fully understand your partner's history and life before taking the step of getting married to them.
If you are interested in running a premarital background check on your partner, then free to get in touch with us for a free quote.
What is a Thai village wedding?
A 'Thai village wedding' is a traditional Thai wedding ceremony which takes place in towns or villages of Thailand. The event is taken seriously and usually attended by friends, family, along with local monks and village elders. The bride and groom dress in traditional Thai attire, with the ceremony lasting all day and usually including a large feast for all attendees.
While some people in Thailand may choose to mark their relationship with a village wedding, the wedding ceremony itself does not create a legally binding marriage unless it is followed up with a visit to the local district office in order to register the marriage.
If you are intending for your partner to obtain a Western visa in future, then you may need to register your marriage in a district office rather than purely holding a 'village wedding' ceremony.
Are pre-matrimonial background checks common in Thailand?
As a leading detective agency based in Thailand, we find that more and more of our clients are choosing to perform premarital background checks on their partners before taking the step of getting married. Clients that have previously fallen victim to infidelity or romance scams tend to be especially diligent in future relationships; with many seeking peace of mind that everything is fully above board and that their partner is truly being honest with them about their circumstances.
With money and finances an increasing part of most marriages, performing checks on your partner can also help to safeguard any future investments that you might make during your relationship.
We are able to check a number of different factors relating to your partner in order to check their history. Romantic background checks can be used whether or not you are currently considering marriage.
Are prenuptial agreements necessary in Thailand?
Prenuptial agreements are not required, however they may be considered in order to safeguard assets during a potential breakdown of the marriage in future. Depending on your country of origin, it could be necessary to have two prenups in place for both your home country and Thailand. Prenups are not a 'be all and end all' solution to all cases, and it is important to understand their potential limitations if you decide to go down the path of asking your partner to sign one prior to marriage.
In Thailand, the default rule is that your partner could be entitled to 50% of anything which you acquired after getting married - assets which you already had prior to getting married are usually exempt.
If you need information on prenuptial agreements, or on any other matter, then it would be highly advisable to consult with a lawyer that specialises in the relevant field of law. The information provided on this website serves as a rough guide for general informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice.
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