5 common mistakes to avoid when dating a Thai woman
January 2, 2024 - Reading time: 8 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
Foreigners that venture into romantic relationships with Thai ladies are likely to experience some 'cultural differences' during their romances, and this is especially true if you are coming from a Western country/culture.
As the adage goes, 'forewarned is forearmed', and understanding some of the cultural differences that you might encounter while dating a Thai can help you to better understand your partner's point of view, and to avoid unpleasant experiences for both yourself and your partner during your relationship.
There are certain behaviours which are best avoided when dating a Thai; we will explore some of the most common mistakes to avoid in this article.
1. Avoid public displays of affection
'Public displays of affection' are typically frowned on in Thai culture. This can be in contrast to many other cultures, such as in the West, where showing affection to your partner in public is usually not a big deal.
Public displays of affection in Western countries are often tolerated and even celebrated in some cases; marriage proposals in-front of strangers in public is not uncommon, for example.
However, most Thais do not enjoy public displays of affection and will avoid them. This could be anything from holding hands in public, to kissing in front of others, or intimate body language in view of others. Don't be surprised if your partner becomes shy or embarrassed, and only shows physical affection to you behind closed doors.
2. Don't cause your partner to lose face
'Losing face' is a big deal in Thailand, and if you value your relationship then it would be wise to avoid causing your partner to lose face at all costs.
Causing your partner to lose face would involve embarrassing her or damaging her image in any way. Although this seems like a simple point, you might find that it manifests itself in many different ways during your relationship.
Try to avoid causing any embarrassment to your partner in public - this could be anything from insulting her intelligence, using her at the butt of a joke, or even trying to correct her English or teach her things in earshot of other people.
You may find that your partner does not want to lose face even to yourself, and might be conservative with the truth when it serves to better her image. For example, if your partner is in a mountain of debt, or has other serious issues within her personal life, then she may well neglect to mention these details until you are deep into a relationship with her.
3. Don't expect her to put you before her family
Family is important to most Thais, and most Thai daughters will be very close with their parents and other close family members. You may find that your girlfriend is also responsible for supporting her parents in their old age, although this will depend on how many siblings she has and whether her parents are working, etcetera.
It has been said that when marrying a Thai lady, you are also marrying her family. It would be wise to maintain an amicable relationship with them, and it might be a good idea to get to know them properly once the relationship with their daughter starts to become serious.
4. Don't communicate aggressively
Communicating aggressively (i.e. raising your voice, swearing, using sarcasm) does not usually translate well or have the desired effect when dealing with Thai people.
Thais tend to use a more "high context" communication style, and are apt at taking in subtleties in order to understand the meaning behind what is being said. Conveying your point by becoming aggressive is not the right resolution in most cases, and will likely upset your partner.
Similarly, many idioms or expressions which are used commonly in English do not convey well to Thais, as there is no equivalent in their own language.
5. Don't be a 'cheap Charlie'
Thailand is somewhat of a collectivist culture, and most won't think twice about sharing what they have with others... The concept of 'naam jai', or 'generosity' is natural for Thais. Don't be surprised if your girlfriend expects you to pickup the tab when eating out with her friends, or buying her gifts while you are out and about.
Some foreigners may worry that they are being taken advantage of financially, and while it is wise to be wary of romance scams or dating a dishonest lady, no women like cheapskates and this is also true among Thais.
It's also important to point out that Thai men will also help to support their girlfriends and wives during their relationships, and this situation is not exclusive to foreigners.
If you are not willing to help out your partner financially, then you should be upfront and honest with her about this from the beginning. It would also be a good idea to take a long hard look at her financial situation and that of her family, in order to determine whether or not she is self sufficient or is likely to require ongoing help in the future. If your partner is barely scraping by financially, and you are not willing to help out whatsoever, then you might find that your relationship eventually falls apart.
Check your Thai girlfriend
If you are wary about falling victim to a romance scam, or suspect that your partner could be cheating on you, then our experienced private detectives can help. We can help to check the lifestyle/activity of your partner through surveillance, or access information on their past and history through our background check service. Visit our homepage to learn more about us, or continue reading our blog for more free articles.
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