Dos and Don'ts when dating a Thai lady
September 2, 2023 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Updated August 20, 2024
For Western guys that start romantic relationships with Thai ladies, there are certain cultural differences which you might notice. Being aware of differences and performing some basic research on Thai culture can really help when it comes to maintaining a happy relationship with your partner. Let's explore some of the most common 'dos and don'ts' when it comes to dating a lady from Thailand...
1. Do: Respect her culture and traditions
If you are dating a lady from Thailand, and you come from a Western country yourself, then you might find that your partner holds certain beliefs - whether religious/spiritual or traditional, which you might not be familiar with... Personal beliefs and traditions can largely depend on which region of Thailand the lady comes from, as well as her family and upbringing.
Many people in Thailand believe in ghosts, for example, with storylines involving ghosts featuring in many popular Thai TV shows and movies. There is even a Wikipedia page which lists many of the different Thai ghosts; each ghost has its own name and description.
While you could spend a considerable amount of time researching Thai folklore, some things are best experienced first hand and with an open mind.
2: Do: Maintain a good relationship with her family
Family relations are very important to Thai ladies. Many elderly Thai people have little (or no) pensions and rely on the support from their children to get by... If your Thai girlfriend's family are not affluent, then it could be the case that she is responsible for helping to support them.
If you later decide to get married, then you might find your girlfriend's parents request a dowry or sin sod to be paid on the wedding day. Maintaining a good relationship with your girlfriend's parents and other close family members should be a priority if you intend to have a serious and long term relationship with her.
3: Do: Consider and plan for marriage
Marriage is very important to many Thai ladies, with some not considering a relationship to be serious until the knot has been tied. Marriage could also be seen as important to the lady's parents or close relatives - some people even believe that getting married will signal to the spirits and ghosts of their ancestors that a romantic relationship is bonified.
Marriage can also increase the lady's 'face' within her community, especially if a large dowry (or 'sin sod') is displayed to guests before being handed over to her parents during a lavish wedding ceremony.
If you are in a serious relationship then you should ask your partner whether marriage is something which is high up on their list of priorities, and if you are marrying a Thai lady then you might need to consider whether her family will require a dowry payment from you on your wedding day. If your partner's family are struggling financially then it is more likely that they might ask for a dowry and continued financial support in the future.
Did you know? We can help to perform a background check on your Thai partner whether or not you are currently considering marriage. Background checks can help to check and confirm details relating to your partner and their history. Our service is 100% private and confidential.
4. Do: Be polite and gentlemanly
Politeness is important in Thailand and good manners cost nothing. Most Thais will not be impressed by rude behaviour.
5. Do: Plan for the long term
Earning a living in Thailand can be difficult, especially if your partner does not have an education or a skill which is currently in demand; and securing a Western visa for your partner to come and live with you has grown increasingly difficult in recent years. Suffice it to say that if you are serious about maintaining a relationship with your partner, then you should consider each other's existing commitments and how you intend to live together long term. Planning for the future with your partner is also likely to be seen as a positive trait by them.
'Don'ts' when dating a Thai lady
Let's now explore some of the things to avoid. DON'T do the following when dating a Thai lady:
1. Don't: Cause your partner to lose face
The concept of 'losing face' is somewhat of a big deal in Thai culture. Effectively, Thai people do not like being made to look foolish or unfavourable in front of other people - as this will cause them to 'lose face'.
What does this mean in practice? Well, not to embarrass your Thai girlfriend in front of other people. In Western countries, for example, we can often get away with poking fun at our partners or making sarcastic comments about them in front of our friends or family, however in Thailand such comments have the potential to cause a lot of offence - so choose your words wisely.
2. Don't: Neglect your personal hygiene
Thailand is a hot country and most Thai people will shower or bathe multiple times per day in order to keep cool and maintain their personal hygiene. Cleanliness is very important to most Thai people and you are not likely to make friends with the smell of body odour.
Similarly, most Thai people tend to be quite clean and proud of their homes. It is not uncommon for the floor of a Thai household to be swept and cleaned every single day, and you might also be expected to help with housework.
3. Don't: Constantly pester her for sex
Most Thai women are modest, and widely cited studies claim that 60% of Thai ladies are virgins when they get married. Thai women are not likely to appreciate being constantly pestered for sex... If you are in a relationship with a Thai bar girl on the other hand, then that is of course another topic altogether.
4. Don't: Disrespect her culture or religious beliefs
If you choose to date a person from another country or culture, then you are likely to encounter some differences along the way. If you approach situations with an open mind, and accept your partner's beliefs along with their way of doing things, then there are not likely to be any rifts created between you.
If, on the other hand, you are the type of person that likes to constantly complain about Thailand, or mock your partner's religious or cultural traditions, then you might leave your partner questioning whether you are a good fit for them.
5. Don't: Make her choose between you and her family
As we touched on previously, most Thai people have very strong relationships with their family - especially close relatives such as parents and grandparents. If your partner does fit into that category, then you should realise that she will always maintain close ties with her family. Don't try to make her choose between her family and yourself, as you may find yourself coming out as the loser.
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