5 reasons why I divorced my Thai wife

July 27, 2023 - Reading time: 10 minutes

Thanks for letting me send in my Thai wife story for your blog. I met my Thai wife during a trip to Thailand and we had been in a relationship for a total of seven years. I am going to write about some of the pitfalls of dating a Thai lady in my experience and the reasons that our relationship ultimately ended in a divorce. The following points would be things for me to consider before entering a serious relationship with another Thai lady.

1. English speaking ability 

I think it's important to be able to communicate with your wife. Of course, many Thai ladies are very good at speaking English - unfortunately my wife was not one of them. She mostly spoke in broken English and was very reluctant to learn. I tried to help her learn better English, however anytime that I corrected her she would become annoyed by that. I think this was in part due to the Thai concept of 'saving face', she felt extremely embarrassed at the idea of anyone over hearing me correct her broken English in public, which meant that I could not teach her.

She attended some English classes but I felt that she never really applied herself or tried to learn. Broken English can sometimes be adequate, but sometimes it is not. This was an issue that we struggled with.

2. She always needed help with money

My wife was from a rural farming community in north east Thailand. She graduated high school but did not have a university degree or any qualifications. After graduating high school she worked in various menial jobs before ending up in Pattaya where I met her. She was working in Pattaya in order to earn enough money to support her family.

At first I didn't have a problem giving her money, I even paid her an allowance for supporting her family and general spending money. Over the years though I realised that she would never be capable of supporting herself. There were always unexpected bills from her family, whether their roof was damaged during a storm or a health scare, or a vehicle breaking down, planting rice fields, or fertiliser or pesticides for her rice fields, health/life insurance policies, there was always something that needed to be paid for.

I bought her a couple of different businesses but felt that she never truly applied herself; the businesses ultimately failed and I wound up losing even more money on them as a result. I tried to help my wife save money but there was always some unexpected expense and whatever savings she had would be used up. She always needed more.

If I was to remarry, I think that I would try to look for a lady with a stable career and a decent income.

3. She cheated on me

Infidelity was a recurring theme within our relationship. Shortly after we got married I discovered that she had been texting one of her exes on Facebook. She never allowed me to view her phone screen and thinking back, she was probably texting many other farang men. There is no other valid reason for someone to be protective over their phone and always hide their phone's screen from their partner while texting.

I never felt that she was truly satisfied with the money that I was giving her, and if she was seeing other men then she would have done this with the intention of earning money - or that is my (arguably deluded) view of the situation. I can't speak about all females, but in my case the relationship with my wife always involved me giving her money on a regular basis, and presumably she would be seeking a similar arrangement with other men.

Although deep down I did have a lingering feeling that she could be cheating on me (the warning signals were there), I never truly believed that she could cheat on me until I decided to check her and find out for sure. If you are also having doubts about your relationship then I would recommend checking and finding out for sure. I dread to think about the amount of guys that will never find out that they are being cheated on by their girlfriends or wives.

4. Trouble with visas

This point will largely depend on your circumstances and which country you come from. In my case, I am from the United States and was earning a six figure salary at my job which I couldn't justify walking away from. I had spent prolonged vacations living in Thailand however the long term solution in our relationship was for my wife to get a visa and move over to the states.

We seemed to tick every box that we could find, I had a stable job for starters, we were in a long term relationship which was well documented by photos, money transfers, and flight receipts, she had ties to Thailand like owning land and family commitments. 

We tried and tried to get her a visa and were knocked back each time. It took so much time and money to make applications which were refused. I have spoken to many other Americans who also found it virtually impossible to secure a long term visa for their Thai partners. Sure, for some people the process is relatively easy but it can be a real mine field. The process takes a long time and I ended up seeking professional advice which was not cheap either.

In the end we could not get her a visa and I travelled back and forth to Thailand, which was not an ideal situation.

5. Cultural differences

If you are dating a Thai lady (or any person from an Asian country), and you come from a Western country yourself, then you might find some cultural differences between yourself and your partner during your relationship.

Most guys will never consider this, but certain things between east and west don't always match, and it can take some time before those differences start to show. Of course, all people are different and I can only speak to my own personal experiences.

For example, Thai people tend to regard the feet as the dirtiest part of the body. Anytime I would turn off a freestanding fan, I would press the button with my toe instead of bending down to turn it off by pressing the button with my finger. It's easier than bending down and I suffer from backache. This habit REALLY irritated my wife, as did any time that I used my feet for something instead of my hands. I tried to remember to use my hands but would often forget and annoy her or her relatives.

Another difference was my wife's strong commitments to her family. For example, I was renting a small house while staying in Thailand and my wife would often invite her extended family members over. They would often turn up to sleep over at my house for the night... I'm talking a dozen or more people sleeping in a two bedroom house. They would lay out blankets on the floor of the living room and bed down for the night.

I was not fond of my in-laws showing up and staying over at random intervals, and my wife saw no problem with it. Similarly, my wife would very often invite her family along to our trips around Thailand. It was like I had married my wife's family as well as her, they were always around. This was a source of major arguments between us.

My wife was very close with her family and would frequently call her mother or father for several hours a day. They were always talking over audio or video calls and I would usually need to wait for her to finish her call before being able to discuss something with her. 

Of course, your experiences may vary regarding cultural differences and this one example is merely the 'tip of an iceberg'.

Check your Thai girlfriend

We recommend performing a premarital background check before getting married or entering into a serious relationship with a Thai girlfriend. Background check investigations of this nature can help to check and verify facts surrounding your partner. If you suspect that your partner could be actively cheating on you, then we could also check their activities/movements by placing them under surveillance. Our fees for surveillance depend on the location of the case.

We offer free, no pressure quotes for all work. Please feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for more information. If you would like a quote for our surveillance service then we will need to know the exact locations of the case in order to confirm a quote, so please include as much information as possible with your inquiry.

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