Can a Thai Bar Girl Make a Good Wife?
February 6, 2023 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Updated: March 8, 2025
When reading online, you'll come across numerous stories of foreign men forming romantic relationships with Thai bar girls. The advice, more often than not, is to "steer clear" — and with good reason. Entering a relationship with someone working in a red-light district anywhere in the world is, for most people, considered a questionable decision.
However, many foreign men do enter into relationships with Thai bar girls, and some even marry them and go on to lead happy lives together. So, what differentiates a long, happy relationship from a short-lived, disastrous one? The truth is, each relationship is shaped by a variety of unique factors. In this article, we’ll explore some of the more common circumstances we've witnessed.
What is a Thai Bar Girl?
First, it’s important to understand the role of a "bar girl" in Southeast Asia. A bar girl is a woman who works in entertainment venues, responsible for socializing with and entertaining clients — both within the bar and outside of it.
Bar girls earn a commission each time a customer buys them a drink. If a customer decides to take the woman out of the bar, they pay a "bar fine" to compensate the bar for losing a staff member. The woman typically receives a portion of this fine, in addition to money paid by the customer for her time.
Bar girls can be found in most of Thailand's red-light districts, including beer bars, go-go bars, gentlemen's clubs, discos, nightclubs, karaoke bars, and more.
Allowing Your Thai Girlfriend to Work in a Bar
Some men, early on in their relationships with Thai bar girls, choose to allow their girlfriend to continue working in the bar — either accepting the fact that she will still engage with customers or hoping it won’t affect their relationship. If the man isn’t ready to financially support her by sending money, this arrangement can take several forms.
The most common approach is a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy, where the lady continues her work with clients without informing her boyfriend of the details. Some women may choose to be more transparent, updating their boyfriend every time they see a new client.
By far, the most common scenario involves the lady telling her boyfriend, "I will keep working in the bar but I will never go with customers. I’ll make money from drinks and tips, but I won’t leave with anyone." The reality, however, often differs. In our investigations, we frequently discover that the lady is still “on the game” — still available for the right price, despite her assurances. This is to be expected, given the nature of the job, where the primary goal for many women is to earn as much as they can for themselves and their families.
Surprisingly, many men continue to believe their girlfriend's assurances that she doesn’t leave the bar with customers. In our experience, eight out of ten women in such situations are still working as bar girls in some capacity.
If a bar girl claims she doesn’t leave the bar, she might promise her boyfriend, "I’ll call you at the same time every night to prove I’m in my own room." While this can give the boyfriend a false sense of security, it doesn’t stop the lady from participating in short-term arrangements. She may also tell a customer that she needs to grab some clothes from her room before heading to his hotel. During the brief trip to her room, she might make a quick phone call to her boyfriend, saying she's feeling tired and can't talk for long. Afterward, the phone goes silent, and she returns to her customer. We’ve seen this happen numerous times.
Bar girls sometimes claim to work as cashiers or managers in the bar, or even say they’ve only just started working there. Other times, they’ll call their boyfriend in front of their customer, with some men even finding the situation amusing — and sharing it online.
The bottom line: if your girlfriend works at a bar in Thailand, you can never be sure if she will leave with a customer. If she’s attractive, there will likely be frequent offers from patrons. And it’s important to remember that each customer isn’t just a chance for her to earn money — it's also a potential opportunity to form a romantic relationship. This brings us to the next topic...
Do Thai Bar Girls Have Multiple Boyfriends at the Same Time?
A common question in online forums and social media groups is whether bar girls have multiple boyfriends at once. This is often referred to as "the bar girl scam."
Bar girls meet numerous men every day or week. If a woman is young and attractive, many men may be interested in her, whether for a brief "pay-for-play" encounter or a serious romantic relationship.
The rise of online dating apps and websites has made it even easier for bar girls to connect with men from all over the world. Rarely do these women admit to their job, even when meeting men online. In some cases, they might visit a friend’s café to take a few photos in a friend's uniform. Many men who meet these women online have no reason to question her claim of working a regular job, especially when photos support her story.
Given that bar girls interact with multiple men, there’s always a chance that they could develop relationships with more than one person. Some men might send her regular money, others send occasional gifts, while some might not contribute at all, only spending money when visiting Thailand. Regardless, romance scams can be very profitable for bar girls, especially if they are attractive and in demand.
Taking Your Thai Girlfriend Out of the Bar
Taking a bar girl out of the bar can be a complicated situation. If you’re not willing to financially support her, she may continue working in the bar and leaving with customers, even if she insists otherwise. Eventually, she may meet a man who is willing to spend money to support her and stop her from working in the bar. This can be the "endgame" for some bar girls.
On the flip side, if you choose to send money to your girlfriend so she can stop working in the bar, you could be at risk of being scammed.
Many men believe their situation is different, saying, "I’ve heard the horror stories, but this girl is different; she’s not like the others." The reality is that most bar girls are in similar circumstances. Some might stop working in the bar after receiving financial support, but many continue working in the bar or find more discreet ways to earn money, such as freelancing or using dating apps. Will she be happy with the financial support of one man, or will she seek to earn more? Some choose the latter.
Unless you're ready to commit to paying her a regular allowance or purchasing a business for her, you won’t know if she’s genuine or just looking for a quick payout. It can take months or even years for her true intentions to reveal themselves. In some long-term scams, it can take years for the truth to surface.
We believe that when money is involved in a relationship, it’s wise to perform due diligence to ensure you’re not being taken advantage of.
Check Your Thai Girlfriend
As a leading detective agency in Thailand, we can help investigate your partner using various investigative techniques. Visit our website to learn more about our services, or reach out to one of our experienced team members for a free quote.
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