5 Common Problems with Thai Girlfriends

September 15, 2023 - Reading time: 8 minutes
Updated: May 3, 2025

Most relationships in life have ups and downs, especially those between members of the opposite sex. If you are a foreign man dating a Thai woman, however, you may notice certain recurring differences, misunderstandings, or conflicts during the course of your relationship.

We are frequently asked by clients to conduct investigations on their Thai partners. As such, we have developed considerable experience in handling the most common 'Thai girlfriend problems'. In this article, we'll explore these issues in depth — and explain how our services can help you gain clarity.

1. Infidelity concerns in Thai relationships

It should come as no surprise that as private investigators based in Thailand, we often encounter cases of infidelity in our work. If your partner is employed in an adult entertainment venue such as a beer bar, go-go bar, massage parlour, or similar establishment, then the risk of unfaithfulness is relatively high. Similarly, if she lives in a tourist-heavy area like Pattaya or Patong, she may encounter numerous opportunities to engage with other foreign men.

The widespread use of dating apps and social media also provides an easy route for attractive women to connect with men across the globe. A woman with an appealing appearance can attract significant attention online, often from multiple suitors.

One common scam often associated with Thai women is the so-called 'girlfriend scam', where a woman maintains multiple long-distance relationships with foreign men — each believing they are her only partner. Some may send her money regularly, while others spend freely during their visits to Thailand.

The objective is typically financial. Having several men who are emotionally and financially invested can yield much higher returns than working in low-paying jobs or service roles.

2. Dishonesty about personal background and marital status

Through our background check service, we verify all relevant details concerning a woman's identity and circumstances. Many of our clients have discovered that their partners were dishonest about critical aspects of their lives — age, family, employment, and especially marital status.

Some women misrepresent their age — sometimes only by a few years, but we've seen cases involving a difference of a decade or more. Others may conceal the number of children they have in order to appear more desirable to foreign partners. In one case, a client was introduced to a child in his girlfriend’s village, only to be told it was a neighbour’s child — when in fact, it was her own.

We’ve also encountered cases where transgender women (ladyboys) have claimed to be biologically female to initiate or maintain romantic relationships.

Critically, many women are also dishonest about their marital status. Under Thai law, if you are romantically involved with a woman who is still legally married, her husband may have grounds to sue you. This is not well known among foreigners — and even fewer understand that a woman’s ID card may not accurately reflect her current status.

Due to the use of Thai honorifics or titles, an ID card showing "Mrs" (นาง) does not necessarily mean she is currently married. Likewise, women who are divorced often continue to carry the title "Mrs" if they have not formally updated their record. Conversely, we have seen cases where a currently married woman’s ID card shows "Miss" (นางสาว), which is equally misleading. This often happens simply because the woman has not sought to update her title — either due to lack of awareness or because it isn't a legal requirement to do so. In short, you cannot rely on a Thai ID card to determine whether a woman is legally single.

For this reason, we strongly recommend our marital status verification service, which confirms a woman's marriage and divorce history. This check can be performed on its own or included as part of our Thai girlfriend background check packages. Additionally, we can investigate whether she appears on dating websites, apps, or adult content platforms using OSINT facial recognition — another valuable tool in uncovering dishonesty.

3. Financial expectations and hidden debts

Many Southeast Asian women pursue relationships with foreign men due to the perception that they are more financially secure and may provide monetary support. While this is not true of all women, some do see the relationship as a path to improving their economic situation.

Some women avoid discussing money early in the relationship, waiting until trust is established. Others gradually introduce financial requests — for themselves or their families — once emotional dependence is secured.

If your girlfriend works in a bar, she may expect ongoing support to help her leave that environment. However, our investigations have shown that many such women continue leaving the bar with customers even while receiving support from overseas boyfriends or "sponsors".

Even women not working in nightlife may have complex financial issues — such as family debt — that they hesitate to disclose. The Thai concept of "saving face" often leads individuals to hide such problems to avoid shame or perceived loss of dignity. Our background checks can help reveal whether such issues exist.

4. Loyalty to family over romantic partners

Family ties are deeply rooted in Thai culture. Your girlfriend is likely to feel a strong obligation to her parents, grandparents, siblings, and even extended relatives. If her family requires assistance — especially financial — she may prioritise them over you.

In marrying a Thai woman, you are often also entering into a relationship with her family. Building goodwill with them can improve your long-term prospects with your partner. For instance, parents may request a sin sod (dowry) payment, and being on good terms can influence the expectations around this tradition.

We recommend meeting your partner’s family early on, particularly if she comes from a rural background. Doing so can also help you better understand her standard of living and social environment.

5. Cultural differences in Thai-Western relationships

Western men often find Thai cultural norms difficult to grasp, especially concepts like "saving face" — a social expectation to avoid public embarrassment or confrontation. Something as seemingly innocent as correcting your girlfriend in public, raising your voice, or making jokes at her expense can be deeply humiliating for her.

These cultural expectations can cause conflict or confusion in relationships if not acknowledged and respected. Attitudes toward family, emotional expression, and confrontation often differ significantly from Western norms.

Related articles

• Is adultery acceptable in Thailand?
• Can I trust my Thai girlfriend?
• Signs that your Thai girlfriend is cheating on you
• Dos and Don'ts when dating a Thai lady

We offer discreet and reliable Thai girlfriend background checks, marital verification, and social media investigations. If you're unsure about your partner's honesty, lifestyle, or past — we’re here to help you find peace of mind and avoid costly mistakes.