11 Signs Your Thai Girlfriend is a SCAMMER
January 6, 2024 - Reading time: 14 minutes
Most Thai women are loving, caring people and can make great partners. However, most Thai women cannot speak English, and as a foreigner that does speak English, you will be dealing with a subset of women that are able to communicate with you. Within that subset lies another group of women that try to extract as much money as possible from their romantic partners (or 'victims').
If your girlfriend is trying to scam you, then the signs may not be obvious. Scammers are experts at their work and it's usually very difficult to figure out their true intentions. Most will try to play 'the long game' and eke out a relationship until the time comes to capitalise on it.
With that said, there are often telltale warning signs that your girlfriend could be scamming you. We will explore some of the more common signs within this article.
1. She refuses to video call
When internet dating, you might find that some ladies will want to start off with a video call in order to establish that they are speaking to a real person; and not a romance scammer that is using someone else's photos. Internet dating in the modern age is sadly rife with scammers, especially from Western Africa where some Internet cafés are filled with men trying to scam Western guys using stolen photos of attractive women.
Using video calls to check the identity of whoever you are speaking to is usually a good idea, however it is not a fool-proof method. In some cases romance scammers can play prerecorded videos in order to make it seem as though you are speaking to someone that you really aren't. Other times scammers can have a friend make the call, and use their photos for the profile, but in reality a different person will be responsible for writing messages.
Be very wary if you are speaking to a Thai lady who claims that "their phone camera/webcam is broken" or that she is not able to video call for some other reason. Also, when you do video call, try to continue your existing conversation in order to confirm that she has been writing the messages that you received. If she doesn't know what you are a referring to or seems confused by that, then alarm bells should start ringing.
2. She has multiple accounts or phones
The infamous 'Thai girlfriend scam' usually involves a lady having multiple different boyfriends, who all believe that they are the only man in her life. In order for this scam to work, the lady will often setup multiple different accounts on social media... One account will be set to 'In a relationship with boyfriend one', and the other will be 'In a relationship with boyfriend two', and so on.
Of course, if your girlfriend does have multiple Facebook accounts, then you might never find out about them; this will be her goal if she is using them for multiple boyfriends or guys that might be interested in her.
If you spot your girlfriend logging in or out of Facebook, then the only real explanation for this is that she is changing between different accounts. She might also go offline abruptly while she uses another account to send messages. Another sign could be that her social media account was only registered a matter of weeks or months ago - most people have been using their social media profiles for years.
Some ladies have more than one phone in order to correspond with different guys. Having more than one phone will allow her to use profile photos featuring one boyfriend in her instant messaging apps, and then use different photos for a different phone/boyfriend.
Many phones now allow the user to insert two or more different SIM cards, which removes the need for scammers to have multiple phones.
3. She hides her phone screen while you are together
If your girlfriend is deliberately moving her phone screen away so that you can't see what she is doing on her phone, then this should start alarm bells ringing straightaway. Ask yourself, what could she be doing on her phone that she doesn't want you to see?
If the lady is writing messages to her close friends or family members, then she will probably do so using Thai script - which presumably, as a foreigner you will not be able to understand.
Similarly, if the lady needs to walk off somewhere in order to make phone calls out of your earshot, then this should also act as a major red flag - who could she be speaking to and why doesn't she want you to hear?
4. She has no job or source of income
If your partner has no job or source of income, then you should really question how she is funding her lifestyle and where her money comes from.
"My girlfriend lives in Pattaya and doesn't work, but she goes out to clubs several times a week with her friends" - As a leading detective agency, we often hear about this type of situation, and the writing is usually on the wall in this type of case. The money has to come from somewhere, and if the lady doesn't work and you aren't supporting her, then chances are that someone else is.
5. She lives outside of her means
If your girlfriend is working a minimum wage job which earns her a salary of ~12,000 THB per month, but she owns the latest iPhone at a cost of ~43,000 THB, is wearing ~50,000 THB worth of gold jewellery, and sports nice designer clothes/accessories, then this should also set alarm bells ringing.
Take a long hard look at her finances, ask her how much she earns per month, how much are her fixed expenses like rent and food, is she supporting her parents financially? Does everything add up? If not then you should question how she is financing her lifestyle.
6. She prefers text messages over calls/video calls
If your Thai girlfriend is hanging out with other guys, then she might be reluctant to call or video call you in-front of them, and will prefer to send text messages constantly.
It's worth noting that if the lady is involved with other guys and doesn't want to call you because of that, then she will probably come up with some very convincing excuses in order to hide the true reason for her reluctancy to call.
Similarly, if your girlfriend tends to call you from inside bathrooms, from balconies, or on the street, rather than from inside her room, then it might be the case that she is seizing her opportunity to call you away from another man. Be wary of this and ask to see her surroundings in order to confirm that she is definitely in her own room, and not just sitting in front of a plain white wall (which could be anywhere).
If your girlfriend's English is not great, then she might utilise text in order to translate your messages as they come in. Using phone or video calls can also help you to gauge her English abilities, and to slowly improve them.
7. She has been working in a bar for 'just one week'
If the lady is working in a bar, then she will usually claim that "it is her first day or week" there. This claim can be backed up by her friends, who will all affirm that she has just started working there very recently.
Alternatively, the lady will claim to be 'just a cashier' or 'just a manager' in the bar. Most often when we are asked to check up on these claims we discover that they are false.
Another popular fib is to claim that she 'only works part time' in a bar, and has an ordinary, respectable job somewhere else for the majority of the time. Again, this type of claim is usually false. If a lady has been working in a bar for many months or years, and been with many different guys during that time, then she will very rarely be open and honest about that. Bar girls are not stupid, and they fully understand that being a high mileage 'working girl' will make them less desirable for a long term relationship.
8. She gives you expensive presents
If you're dealing with a scammer, then her goal is probably to extract money from you at some point. However, don't expect this to happen straightaway. Scam artists fully understand that asking for money or gifts too early will be seen as a red flag. Most will wait and play the game long term for a big prize, it could be many months or even years before the trap falls.
If you have never met your girlfriend in real life, for example, then she probably won't ask you to give her money at all until the relationship has developed into something more serious and you have spent time together in person. This is a long game for big rewards.
As part of the process to 'butter you up', some scammers will actually give you expensive gifts or presents, so that you feel indebted and return the favour later on. If you are given a costly or 'over the top' gift, then you should question her motives and whether she is setting a precedent for when it's your turn to return the favour.
9. She doesn't care about your appearance
Appearance is important in Thailand, and a lady that is genuinely interested in you romantically will probably care about how you look in public... This could manifest into things like reminding you to get a haircut or have a shave every morning, making sure that you have decent clothes, and that your clothes are all washed/ironed properly. If you are visiting her town/village then she might even suggest that you purchase some gold jewellery for yourself, in order to display some of your wealth and 'increase your face' in her community.
A scammer that is purely interested in your wallet and what she can take from you might not care as much about your appearance, and will avoid saying or doing things which could create friction between you.
10. She hangs around with other men
This might seem like an obvious point, but the lady will often preface her behaviour with claims such as "he is just a friend" or "he's my brother", even sometimes including the best excuse which that the man she hangs around with is a gay friend.
Of course, if you're not in the country with her then it will be difficult or impossible to find out who she is hanging around with (without hiring a private investigator), but if you do notice that she spends time with other men while you are together then this should act as another potential warning sign.
11. She doesn't want you to learn Thai
We are not referring to very basic words and phrases such as "Sawadee krab" or "Kop Khun krap" here; but studying the Thai language to the extend that you start to become conversationally fluent, and capable of understanding your girlfriend's conversations with other people.
Being able to speak about you and your relationship directly in-front of your face while you do not understand a word can be quite advantageous to a romance scammer. Whether the lady is in a relationship with a Thai man unbeknownst to you, or if she merely gossips about you in front of other people, your ability to speak Thai is not going to benefit her at all if she is trying to pull a scam.
Check your Thai girlfriend
As a leading private detective agency in Thailand, we can help to check your Thai girlfriend and confirm that everything she claims is true and correct. Whether you need us to perform a background check or verify your partner's lifestyle/movements through surveillance, we can help. Visit our homepage to learn more about us, or continue reading our blog for more free articles.
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