Is my Thai girlfriend cheating on me?

November 23, 2020 - Reading time: 12 minutes

Is my Thai girlfriend cheating on me? If you are reading this blog post then it's safe to assume there is already some doubt in your mind.

Thai women as a whole generally remain loyal to their partners and acts of infidelity are typically frowned on in Thai society. However, most women in Thailand cannot speak English and only become romantically involved with Thai men. When it comes to relationships between Thai women and foreign men, lines can become blurred and what is perceived as acceptable behaviour can vary, especially when there are financial incentives at play.

A Thai lady that is married to a Thai man might have little to gain by cheating on him with other Thai men. However, a lady that is living in somewhere such as Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket, has to opportunity to regularly meet foreign men, and with that comes the potential to gain vast amounts of money through forming multiple relationships with them. Make no mistake about it, the Thai girlfriend scam, when performed correctly, can allow a lady to earn massive amounts of money.

The incentive of making money is often enough for a lady to bend her morals, especially if she comes from an impoverished family that might be struggling with money. If a lady can help to feed her family and provide them with a better quality of life through lying to her boyfriend, or by having multiple boyfriends, then the needs of her family will almost always come before that of a foreign boyfriend.

Infidelity in Thailand statistics

According to a recent study, cheating is prevalent in Thailand, with 56% of married Thais admitting to having an affair.

Some Thai men practice polygamy, with what they describe as "mia noys". "Mia noy" roughly translates to "minor wife" – that is, another wife in addition to his main partner. This type of polygamy has existed in Thailand for hundreds of years and has typically been more prevalent among wealthy Thais – generally the wealthier a man is, the more wives he might have.

With infidelity running deep in Thai culture – can you trust your Thai girlfriend not to cheat on you?

If you suspect that your Thai girl is cheating on you, then we think there is something to be said for trusting your instincts. However, it’s important to recognize the difference between a lady having an affair, and a lady that is involved with the Thai girlfriend scam.

As a foreigner, you may find yourself becoming the target of a Thai girlfriend scam, and we think it's important to understand how scams can work in order to try and avoid them yourself.

The Thai girlfriend scam

There is a subset of women in Thailand who aim to involve themselves with multiple different foreign men, all of whom will believe that they are the lady's only boyfriend. By forming multiple relationships with several foreigners, some ladies are able to earn themselves vast amounts of money.

With many foreigners sending an allowance to their Thai girlfriends every month, it's easy to see how the perpetrators of romance scams are able to earn sizeable incomes by receiving money from their partners. If the scam continues over many years, then the men will typically become very trusting of their Thai girlfriend - some guys will even buy houses or cars for their Thai girlfriends before realizing they have been played. 

We have seen many cases of Thai girlfriend scams in different forms over a number of years, and we don't foresee the flow slowing down or stopping anytime soon. 

While the Thai girlfriend scam has typically been popular among Thai bar girls (and still is), we have seen a growing number of ladies forming multiple relationships with foreign men using dating apps and websites. Communicating over the internet can help the lady to rapidly form relationships with different men and gain their trust. It is also easy for a Thai lady to portray a respectable image of herself to men that she has met through the internet. 

Women that practice this scam usually do so over a number of years, which allows them to hone their skills and they often become experts at manipulating their foreign boyfriends. Some women will even share tips between themselves on the best tactics, and write messages for each other's boyfriends in the English language. This type of scam, while deplorable on a moral level, is a fine art which when pulled off correctly can offer huge rewards and live changing sums of money for the ladies responsible. 

If you are involved with a Thai lady that makes her living through scamming her foreign boyfriends, then figuring out you are being lied to can prove to be extremely difficult, or impossible in many cases.

Scammers become excellent liars and know exactly the things to say to put your mind at ease. They build a toolbox filled with convincing excuses to explain away their activity. They learn the lies which work and the ones which don't. They learn to read their boyfriends, and only to ask for money when each boyfriend seems comfortable (this will not be early on in the relationship in most cases). Scammers learn how to get the most from each boyfriend.

Victims of the Thai girlfriend scam will think that their girlfriend is "different" and that it could never happen to them. Lead on by a desire for romance, most victims to romance scams will believe anything their Thai girlfriend tells them… It can typically take several years for these men to realize that they have fallen victim to a scam, others may never realize the truth.

Often, if a lady has a sponsor that is taking care of her financial needs, she will seek out younger men to spend time with… If the lady is already receiving an allowance every month, then she won't need to ask for help from her young boyfriends, and will enjoy the romance of a younger man whilst being supported by older ones.

In order to catch a professional scammer, it often takes a professional investigator.

We have caught literally thousands of cheating Thai women over the years… We can help to investigate your Thai girlfriend and find out whether or not she is telling the truth or being faithful to you. Many of our clients would never have got to the truth of their relationship without engaging our services, and our clients are usually glad to uncover the truth.

Understanding your Thai girlfriend 

We feel that it's important to understand your Thai girlfriend's circumstances, her background, history, and her family's circumstances. Due to the Thai concept of 'saving face', Thai ladies tend to be reluctant when it comes to sharing information about their families and personal lives early on in a relationship.

Many ladies that seek out relationships with foreigners come from poor farming villages, their families are often impoverished and struggling with debt. However, don't expect your girlfriend to be upfront and honest about this. In Thai culture, exposing your vulnerabilities can be seen as losing face, which is a fate worse than death for many Thais. In addition to this, Thai ladies are not stupid and fully understand that explaining they are in debt, or from a very poor family, will not be taken well by a lot of men... Some guys might simply walk away from a relationship if they realize that their Thai girlfriend is very poor.

Why does this matter? Well, if your Thai girlfriend is in dire need of money to support her family, repay loans, or for any other reason, then she might be more likely to try and earn extra cash through working in the sex industry or through forming romantic relationships with multiple foreign men as part of a Thai girlfriend scam.

Of course, your girlfriend will not want to share information with you that is likely to put you off her or damage your relationship… Finding out that your partner is in a huge amount of debt, or that her family home is a wooden shack on the verge of collapse, for example, will be perceived as discouraging to most foreign men.

Earning extra cash through the sex industry is easier than you might think. If your girlfriend is living in a city such as Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, or Chiang Mai, then it's easy for her to freelance at a nightclub or bar. Freelancing is simply the act of meeting with men for sex, whilst having no commitments to a particular establishment. Many women that work 'normal' jobs during the daytime will freelance in the evenings to have fun and earn extra cash. 

Other women will use dating apps to seek out foreign men – some women can have 5 or 6+ boyfriends at the same time. While this might seem farfetched to some, attractive Thai women have no trouble finding interested men using the internet, and forming romantic bonds with them is not difficult to a lady practiced in romance scams. 

Is your Thai girlfriend working in a bar? 

It's important to realize that bars in Thailand are more like brothels which serve alcohol rather than conventional beer bars that you might find in a Western country. 

Learn more about bar girl investigations.

The goal for women working in Thai bars is to leave their bar with customers as often as possible. The customer will be required to pay a fee to the bar for taking their lady, known as a "bar fine". The lady will usually receive a percentage of the bar fine, as well as earning commission on drinks that are purchased for her. Of course, in addition to paying a bar fine, the customer will need to make a payment directly to the lady for her time.

Newcomers to Thailand often find themselves forming relationships with bar girls. Most often the lady will continue to leave the bar with customers while denying this fact to her boyfriend, or boyfriends. 

If your girlfriend is working at a bar in Thailand then the odds that she will be cheating on you whilst you are out of the country are substantially higher. In fact, most of the Thai bar girls investigated by us are found to be cheating on their partners (see our blog post: Thai girlfriend statistics).

Bar girls often earn a living through lying to their boyfriends and continuing to leave their bar with customers while their boyfriends are out of the country… Most men fall for the bar girl scam hook line and sinker.

If your girlfriend is working a bar in Thailand then we can help to check her activities while you are not around, for many guys that are involved with bar girls this is the only way to discover the truth about their partners. If your girlfriend is working at a Thai bar, then choosing to hire a private investigator can save you huge amounts of time, money and heartache.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you're wondering whether your Thai girlfriend is cheating on you then we can help. We offer various methods that can be used to investigate Thai ladies, such as our background check service, personal surveillance, decoy service, and more. Please feel free to get in touch with us explaining your situation and we will endeavour to offer the best and most cost-effective solution in your case; we offer free, no pressure quotes for all work.